The Annoying Guy

In response to Aunt Kelly's post: "The UPS Guy"

OK.  Here's the setting.  Way too early on Monday morning (well, actually, 10 a.m. But that's 9 a.m. Nashville time) returning to school after a wonderful break at home.

I get an awesome seat.  My first choice.  The second row.  On the right.  Window seat.  This is the best seat because the second row has the tray tables and a chair to put your purse under; on the right because I like to cross my left leg over my right; window--need no explanation.  Anyways, I was beyond excited to see the available seat with the "A-59" ticket.

Everything was going great... But, ya never know who is going to get that middle seat.

I'm not a talker.  Not in any way.  I don't like small talk.  Not at all.  Especially on planes.  And I'm not looking for a date.  Because it totally makes scene to meet someone on a plane, right?   

So here's this guy who sits next to me with this huge smile (my guess, freshman in college).  I smile back and say hello then close my eyes and settle into my wonderful window seat for a much needed nap.  One would think that is a clear signal of wanting sleep--not conversation.

"You're not falling asleep already, are you?" boy, unknown name, said.

"hahaha.  Yes, I'm very tired," I said.

"Really?" boy said.

"Yes." I said while returning to my "perfect for sleeping window".

"But you can't fall asleep before the plane takes off," boy said.

"Yes.  I can," I said (close eyes again).

"Didn't you just sleep all break?" boy, really annoying, said.

(Oh my goodness.  This kid is really not going to let me sleep.  I'm about to get stressed out.  The flight attendant even gives me sympathy eyes--because we're in the second row he sees and hears everything.)

"I'm just tired," I said.

"So, what school do you go to?" boy said.

"Trevecca," I said.

"Oh I've heard of that school.  I don't know anyone that goes there but it's a good one," said boy.

"And where do you go to school?" I ask, thinking in Nashville.

"Oh, in Utah," boy said.

(Final straw.  There is know way he knows of Trevecca.)

"What's your major?" boy said.

"Journalism," I said.

"Oh, I'm an English major.  That's like the same.  We're both writers," boy said.

(Oh my gosh, we have so much in common.  How did I get so lucky? NOT! We have nothing in common.  He make up stories.  I report facts.  Fact: All I want is to sleep!)

"Well, I'm going to take a nap," I said.

"OK, well, first did you skip class today?" boy said.

"Only my 9 o'clock.  I'll be back for my afternoon ones," I said.

"I skipped class too.  And I skipped classes last week," boy said.

(Oh, he's a bad boy---skipping classes---that's hot. NOT)

"It's a good think I skipped class, too.  I think we're getting a snow day," boy said.

"Oh yeah.  Snow day.  I miss those.  So, what's the name of your high school," I, brilliantly, ask.

"I'm not in high school," boy said.

"Oh but you said snow day.  Colleges don't get those.  Everyone lives on campus," I said. 

(He left me alone after that.  I'm upset because boys are stupid.  I simply want to sleep.  I've already lost 15-20 solid minutes of sleep and that's a solid amount of time for a college student.  SLEEP FINALLY.  Then I wake-up and pretend to remain sleeping in efforts to avoid unwanted conversation.) 

Then he shakes me on the shoulder, "We're about to land," boy said.

"What?" I said.

"We're going to land in five minutes," boy said.

"Thank you," I said, really mad and I looked out the window until the plane landed (about 15 minutes later).

And he wasn't even cute.  But then again, neither was I.  No makeup and a sweatshirt on.

hahaha.